PROACTIVE ALLYSHIP (be an accomplice)

A color photo of me picketing at Universal taken by Patrick Malone

Welcome to #TransTuesday! I’m always talking about how important cis allyship is (because it’s true and I’m right and very smart). And today I’m gonna show you how to be a champion accomplice with PROACTIVE ALLYSHIP aka BE AN ACCOMPLICE (and also the WGA strike!)

Let’s start with an allyship framework, because everyone is new to these (or being an ally) at some point, and I wrote these so you’d read them! Let’s start with the ways it can go wrong, with things like PERFORMATIVE ALLYSHIP.

And then see how things can get much, much worse with PERFORMATIVE ALLYSHIP 2: FALSE ALLYSHIP where people who think they’re allies are actually part of the problem and perpetuate and condone transphobia.

For an example of getting things right, check out WHAT REAL CIS ACCEPTANCE LOOKS LIKE.

And for an example of how even the smallest, most basic act of allyship can turn a miserable situation entirely around, see NO ESCAPE 2: SOME ESCAPE (due to cis allyship).

So what am I talking about when I say Proactive Allyship? I’m talking about being such an ally that you are actively trying to help us, and know when something is (or could be) transphobic and taking steps to fix it.

Okay so where we’re going now is gonna seem out of the blue, but it’s absolutely one of the best and purest examples of this that I can give you so stick with me. I wouldn’t lead you astray! (unless there was pizza involved, but here I am pizza-less and so)

As you’ve likely heard, the Writers Guild of America, and later, the actors’ union SAG-AFTRA, have been striking due to egregiously poor pay and residuals which are killing the possibility that people can make an actual career as television writers and screenwriters.

I’m not going to get into all the details here, but the point is these strikes are entirely justified and important. And I’ve been out there on the picket line as often as I can be. You have, perhaps, seen photos of me out there!

Me at a WGA picket with a sign that says “how I miss the click-clack of my keyboard”

Me at a WGA picket with a sign that says “he was more than a hero, he was a union man.” – Chief O’Brien

Me at a WGA picket with a sign that says “this is my strike sign. There are many like it, but this one is *mine*”

Me at a WGA picket with my custom sign that says “transphobia is bad enough, I don’t need this shit too” (with a frowny face)

And I’ve been out there with friends, met new and wonderful people, and though it sucks to have to strike, the camaraderie and communal joy from solidarity on the picket lines is EXTRAORDINARY.

Me and Pepper Reed out on the picket line

Me and Liz Thurmond out on the picket line, as photographed by J. W. Hendricks

I got to meet Blu del Barrio and tell them how much they and Adira on Star Trek Discovery have meant to me as Star Trek’s first non-cis, nonbinary character.

Me and Blu del Barrio on the picket line at Paramount on Star Trek day

My brother and brother-in-law even came out to picket with me!

Me, my brother-in-law Ethan, and my brother Josh on the picket line at Universal

There have even been photographers out there documenting the strike that have gotten fab shots of me!

A black and white photo of me picketing at Netflix taken by J.W. Hendricks

A color photo of me picketing at Universal taken by Patrick Malone

I’ve run into J.W. Hendricks a lot, he’s a writer and photographer who’s been documenting the strike with truly amazing photos. And we’ve talked and became friends, and he even came to my reading and signing at Book Soup… and took photos!

A black and white photo by J.W. Hendricks of me talking with people and signing books after my reading at Book Soup

A black and white photo by J.W. Hendricks of me doing my reading at Book Soup

If you somehow missed me never shutting up about it, btw, this was for my book BEGIN TRANSMISSION: THE TRANS ALLEGORIES OF THE MATRIX which began as trans tuesday essays and is out now everywhere books are sold in hardcover, paperback, and digital!

“Tilly why are you showing us all of this!” I hear you scream. Listen, I’m not gonna steer you wrong, okay? I want you to understand how universally warm, welcoming, and wonderful the WGA picket lines have been, and all the good that’s come from it even before the new contract.

One thing you might not know about the WGA strike is that often there are themed pickets, to add a little fun and help keep morale up as we walk just so many miles and fight to be able to make a living from the thing we do that makes studios billions and billions of dollars.

I’ve been to the Trans Takeover of Netflix, Star Trek day at Paramount, Genre Queens 2 at Fox, 80s day at Universal, and more. But plenty of days are just plain old picketing, with no costumes or events (though sometimes kind people donate food trucks or pizzas or coffee).

One of the biggest events I attended was the Pride picket at WB. It was in early June, and it was beautiful and absolutely PACKED and incredibly queer and welcoming and wonderful. I’m so glad I got to be part of it. And when I was there, I saw this sign:

A WGA picket sign that says “My pronouns are: pay/me”

If you’re out there groaning because pronoun jokes are the hackiest, least funny, terribly transphobic jokes out there, listen, I am with you. I talked about that a lot in the trans tuesday on TRANS REP IN MEDIA IN 2022 (in movies/tv).

And if you’re legit confused about why pronoun jokes are a problem, bigots use them to cheapen and discredit the idea that pronouns have any importance and are about respecting someone for who they really are. They’re super bad, actually! (and the laziest jokes ever)

HOWEVER, I want you to consider the context. This sign was made and carried by a queer person. While there’s a chance it was a cis queer person who fell into the hacky transphobic joke trap, it seemed much more likely to me it was done as a reclaiming by a trans person.

In the latter context, it’s fine. There’s actually no problem with it. Marginalized people reclaiming things used to hurt us is a powerful thing. I talked a bit about that in the trans tuesday on CIS IS NOT A SLUR.

But if you’re not a writer out there striking, you also might not know in most instances the writer holding the sign probably did not write it. I could actually never find a blank sign, which is why my transphobia sign before was made on posterboard and attached with magnets.

At the end of each strike day, the signs are collected and stored and then redistributed the next day. Signs go back into the pile and make it around to different lots and locations and get carried by lots of different people. The Chief O’Brien sign above was made by my friend Aaron Waltke!

He made it for Star Trek day at Paramount, and I found it a week or two later when I was picketing at Disney. That’s just how it goes. I’ve seen tons of people not even look at what sign they’re grabbing, while others are very choosy about it.

So when the “my pronouns are pay/me” sign got tossed back into the stack, it made its way around and has since been carried by other people at other locations, completely devoid of its likely context of reclamation by its trans creator.

And I’ve heard other writers talking about that sign specifically, and how weird it was to see out there. Because you don’t know if the person carrying it is just a horrible transphobe. In fact, if you weren’t at the Pride picket, you might think whoever is carrying it made it.

And if that’s a cis person, you’re gonna throw them all the side-eye in the world if you’re an ally worth two grains of salt.

So a few weeks back, my friend Jamey Perry (who I only know from social media and have not yet gotten to meet in person) sent me a DM… about that very sign. She is cis! But she wondered if that sign might be a problem and if something should be done.

She’d seen it in with the other signs and knew it was in rotation with all the others, and she asked my advice about what, if anything, to do about it.

And I told her that if it was a trans person who made it/was carrying it, it’s fine and in fact could be pretty powerful. But as it’s so often NOT carried by a trans person or the person who made it, it was likely a problem.

Especially given that it’s been taken by people entirely unrelated to the strike and used to make terrible merch (that doesn’t even support the people striking! Don’t buy this crap, it’s transphobic AND doesn’t help ANYONE but opportunistic jerks)

A mug with a writers guild on strike sign on it that says “my pronouns are pay/me”

A t-shirt with a writers guild on strike sign on it that says “my pronouns are pay/me”

It’s also shown up on many sites in “best signs of the WGA strike!” articles and listicles and absolutely none of them are talking about it being a problem. Which at that point means it’s just perpetuating bad transphobic jokes and nothing more.

When I see a cis person carrying that sign, I don’t know if they just didn’t even look at it, or if they specifically chose it BECAUSE they’re transphobic. And it might lead someone to believe that whoever was carrying it (who might in fact be a great ally) was a bigot.

But much worse, in my opinion, was any trans person who hadn’t seen it before and didn’t know the context of its creation, appearing at a picket and seeing that sign for the very first time. If that were me, I’d instantly feel like I (and all trans people) were not welcome.

Which could lead to feeling like trans people weren’t welcome in the WGA, or anywhere in the industry, and that’s already sadly far too often the case. We face so many barriers to getting hired, especially trans writers.

We get told “this isn’t a trans show” as if that’s all we can write. Or “we have a trans writer” as if we’re all interchangeable and you can’t have two. Or “we don’t have any trans characters” as if we can’t write cis characters too (and also why DON’T you have trans characters?)

And this sign, possibly not intended to confirm any of those things were okay, was doing exactly that to anyone who didn’t know its history. And Jamey told me she discussed it with the lot coordinator where she last saw it, and they decided to pull it out of rotation.

Do you understand the magnitude of that? She didn’t wait for a trans person to have to put ourselves in a difficult position of complaining about it to a cis person and not knowing how they’d react, or if we’d have to explain why it was so problematic.

She saw something that could have been a problem, and SHE JUST DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. She didn’t do it for credit or even for thanks. She had no idea I’d write about it (though I of course told her before posting this).

THAT is proactive allyship. THAT is not just saying you’re fine with us, not just NOT being a bigot, that is showing every single one of us that you ACTUALLY HAVE OUR BACKS and you have NO IDEA how much that means. Especially in the present political climate.

In my trans tuesday interview with Shakina about her fabulous and deeply needed trans episode of Quantum Leap, she mentioned she preferred the term “accomplice” over “ally,” and this is what she meant.

She wrote it right into the episode: “Allies sit in the bleachers and wave a flag, and accomplices have skin in the game.” THIS is one hundred percent what Jamey did. Because she could have faced blowback or anger over bringing that up, you never know how these things will go.

She took that on HERSELF, knowing that if it went bad it wouldn’t be half as bad for her as it would be for a trans person, and she didn’t wait for anyone to ask her to. She just did it. Because she’s a proactive ally. Because she’s an ACCOMPLICE in our liberation.

And it all went fine and the sign is out of rotation and nobody was even upset about it, as far as I know. It was such a small gesture on her part, and it could make an entire WORLD of difference to any trans people going out to picket.

With this one small act she actively made the world better, easier, and safer for trans people. And (if you’re up for it, Jamey, no presh) I’m gonna hug you extra many times whenever we finally meet.

Be an accomplice to marginalized voices. Help make the world better for all of us.

Tilly Bridges, end transmission.
tillysbridges@gmail.com

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