Welcome to #TransTuesday 100! Can you believe it?! I’m not sure I can. Yet here we are! I’ve written all of these for YOU, trans/nb/cis alike, and wanted to use this one to answer your questions, and you didn’t disappoint! So here we go with ASK TILLY ANYTHING ABOUT BEING TRANS!
I got so many good questions, and I wanted to give them the replies they deserve, so this is actually only Part 1! If you don’t see your question here, fret not, it will likely show up next week. I just found this thread got too long even for me (which is saying something).
If you’re new around here (hi! welcome!), when I publicly came out as trans I was very, very aware of the privilege I was giving up, the power I previously held in society that I had to cede in order to live as an out transgender woman in a society that largely hates and fears us.
If you’re trans you’ve always been trans, regardless of when you realized and self-accepted, so I was never actually a man. I didn’t move through the world as one and never acted like one. But that’s still how society saw me, and as I’m also white and appeared heterosexual…
I enjoyed almost the highest level of privilege our society offers to anyone, even though I never asked for it. About the only way I could have had more is if I hadn’t been poor for most of my life.
So even though I was giving that up to live an authentic life as myself, I still retained a lot of privilege because I’m (very) white, and I’m tall and muscular and I live in a safe neighborhood/state and didn’t lose my family. And I wanted to use that privilege.
And I’m a writer, so I write. And that’s where the whole Trans Tuesday thing came from. I’m just trying to help people understand in the hope you’ll learn, and come to me with your questions and not bother other trans people with far less privilege and far more to worry about.
I talked about that in-depth here, if you’d like to learn more about CIS PRIVILEGE, the privilege I still possess, and the ways in which those of us who ARE privileged in should use that to help people who have less.
With that brief history lesson out of the way, let’s dive into the entire point of this… your questions! I wanted to be sure you could ask whatever you wanted, and sometimes people are shy about what they want to ask for a variety of reasons.
Maybe you’re trans (or questioning) and have questions but don’t want to post them publicly as then you’d be outing yourself. Maybe you’re a little embarrassed you don’t know something… though you shouldn’t be! This is how we learn! But it’s an understandable feeling.
So I temporarily set up an account with the NGL app for people to ask anonymously. I’ve deactivated it now, but I don’t know if it leaves the question ability open. Which is to say don’t go asking me more questions there because I won’t see them!
Some of you asked publicly, many of you didn’t, and I’ve tried to group them as best I can into sections so they’re hopefully not too disjointed as you’re reading through. But they run the gamut from personal, to entertainment, to broad, to esoteric! Let’s go!
–My only question, right now is: Wow! You’ve done 100 of them?!–
I can hardly believe it myself. I made a list of things I wanted to talk about when I started, and it was huge. Or so I thought. I think it had 20 things on it. I kept adding more as my transition progressed and I had so, so much more to talk about. And there’s still so many more to go!
https://twitter.com/riverag3000/status/1555943613762129924
–Hi! I was wondering if “Tilly” was short for Mathilda and why you chose that name.–
It’s not short for anything! It’s just Tilly, and I chose it because it’s me better than anything else ever could be. I did a whole Trans Tuesday all about NAMES AND PRONOUNS and why they’re important, and the second half includes a detailed explanation for why I’m Tilly.
If you’re interested in learning about the process I went through for a LEGAL NAME AND GENDER MARKER CHANGE, and everything that involved, I did a Trans Tuesday about that too!
–Will the Matrix game(s) be referenced in the upcoming book?–
I’m pretty sure most of you are aware as I think it’s how a lot of you found me, but I spent almost a quarter of these 100 Trans Tuesdays talking about the intentional trans allegories of the Matrix movies.
Many (MANY) of you have asked me if I could turn them into a book, which isn’t an easy thing to do as I can’t just magic myself a publishing deal. But SO many people have asked, and I also realize that social media is a small percentage of the population.
And a book could reach so many more people, and an entirely different audience. And it could help them so much, like so many of you have told me how the Trans Tuesday versions have helped you. And so I’m trying!
The conversion’s already begun, but because they were written for social media they need to be adapted a bit to read better as a book. If/when I have more news I can share on that front, believe me you’ll know. I’m sure I won’t shut up about it.
But as to your question, no. The plan is to cover only the four main films and The Animatrix.
–Do you have any trans head canons? Like, not an allegory just characters that give off trans vibes.–
Yes! The first and foremost, and maybe the strongest I’ve ever encountered, is Dax (both Jadzia and Ezri) from STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE. And I’m not the only one, tons of the trans community glommed onto her. True trans rep is so rare we have to create our own sometimes.
Dax’s trans vibes go so deep, and she was SO important to me as a kid who didn’t even know she was trans, that she’s been on my list to do a Trans Tuesday about since the beginning. My wife and son and I recently did a (second? third?) chronological rewatch of ALL of Trek.
And I took notes all through DS9, which is why I’ve not yet written Dax’s thread. I wanted details to better explain, and it took a long time to get through it all and so many other topics keep coming up. But it’ll happen eventually.
Sprite in Marvel’s ETERNALS also reads as incredibly trans to me. If you watch it with that in mind, I think you’ll pick up on it pretty easily.
Even moreso is Sylvie from Marvel’s LOKI show. She reads SO trans that it’s difficult for me to believe it’s all chance, but it could be. I actually talked about that and all the evidence for it on a podcast with my lovely friends from @fanbase_press here:
https://twitter.com/Fanbase_Press/status/1418681481291915265
And of course there’s the Trans Tuesday from last week, THE INTENTIONAL (?) TRANS ALLEGORY OF THE TWILIGHT ZONE’S “NERVOUS MAN IN A FOUR DOLLAR ROOM” that reads incredibly trans, enough that I also have to wonder if it was partly intentional.
Westworld season four has read INCREDIBLY trans to me, but I don’t think you could just jump right into s4 without seeing what came before. It’s a pretty dense show, but I really enjoy it and s4 has been my favorite season so far, even outside of the mega trans vibes.
On a lark I also started doing these tweets with trans readings of songs just for fun, and then it kind of became a recurring thing. It’s goofy, but also those songs do give me trans vibes SO… I’ve actually got a list of songs to add to it over time (because of course I do).
I should probably collect these in a thread or something.
https://twitter.com/TillyBridges/status/1417161314577752080
Especially if I plan to continue them.
https://twitter.com/TillyBridges/status/1466455665367343109
Which I do.
https://twitter.com/TillyBridges/status/1512102436445466626
Because it’s fun.
https://twitter.com/TillyBridges/status/1519412527318269952
Everyone needs a hobby.
https://twitter.com/TillyBridges/status/1556733049290641408
There’s also Rey from the new Star Wars sequels, Samus from the Metroid games. And Elphaba and her entire story from the musical Wicked, and Rapunzel (in general, but also very specifically from the Disney version that has even more trans connections).
I may cover these in future Trans Tuesdays, but we’ll see. It’s difficult because it just requires so much TIME to rewatch and note all the little instances that can add up to so much. So I’d definitely like to talk about them, but those are very dependent on my schedule.
I also did a thread about what it’s like to have so little representation in media that we have to find our own representation, through “trans readings” of characters just like you asked about, and PHYSICAL REPRESENTATION. And what happens when that sometimes doesn’t work out well.
has there been an example in media that intentionally got the trans experience right? Like just absolutely nailed it?
It’s hard to say because there’s SO much media now that it’s impossible to see it all. There may well be some that I’ve simply not seen or am not aware of. One I DO know is Dreamer from the CW’s Supergirl show. She could not have been handled more perfectly, IMO.
https://twitter.com/WesWordman/status/1554992214895476736
They don’t shy away from her transness, and there are stories about it, but it’s not ALL that there is to her. The trans aspects are really well done, but her transness is just another part of who she is. There’s so much more to her than just that. And @NicoleAMaines is superb.
Dreamer’s really unique, at least in media I’ve seen. We got to see her on the show for YEARS, meaning they could do so much with her that’s still sadly so rare for trans representation. She means a lot to me, and I’d kill to write for her someday. Hey DC get at me!
If you’d like more on the importance of representation in media, I’ve done several Trans Tuesdays about it. Here’s what it’s like with GOOD REPRESENTATION, and what it can mean to the trans people experiencing it.
And here’s what it’s like when BAD REPRESENTATION hits, and what THAT can mean to the trans people experiencing it.
–will you ever stop posting selfies–
Nah. I mean, maybe? But likely no! Trans people who transition as adults go our ENTIRE LIVES without seeing ourselves, we have a lot of time to make up for. Also being out and visible and showing our trans joy helps other people realize trans joy is possible for them, too.
The more we’re seen, the more others like us might realize they can do it, too. I know it certainly worked that way for me. And besides, as I’ve said before:
https://twitter.com/TillyBridges/status/1526614255474073600
–as a cisgender man even i am sometimes affected by the hate directed at the trans community online. how do you maintain composure in the face of it? or how do you regain calm when it gets to be too much?–
Man I wish I could tell you. Having friends, trans and cis alike, who are there to support you and lift you up and defend you and hug you when you need it is so important. And, like, I don’t give a shit what bigots think, because… they’re bigots. Their opinions literally mean nothing to me.
Much worse, for me, is dealing with all the anti-trans legislation in this country (and around the world), knowing people hate us so much they want us dead or miserable for our entire lives.
And we never did anything to anyone except ask to live our lives in peace. But our very existence shows that the cis binary status quo is a lie, and that’s everything cis male white supremacy is built on, and so they come for us.
I know the pain of gender dysphoria. I know how awful it is. When Texas enacted laws to investigate parents who cared enough to treat their children’s dysphoria, to take their kids AWAY, these poor hurting kids who just don’t know why the world is broken and everything hurts…
I had to pull my car over and cry in a mini-mall parking lot. Things like that hurt so much more that bigots online. But all of it adds up. I wish I had an easy answer on how to deal with it or make it better. Some people have detransitioned because of it.
Important for the trans folks out there: @TheBlockBot is VITAL for any trans person on twitter. It blocks everyone who follows huge transphobic accounts, and it makes the entire twitter experience safer, pleasant, and actually usable. Sign up today! You’ll be glad you did.
The one thing that keeps me going, that keeps me getting back up every time I get knocked down, is knowing how much these Trans Tuesdays have helped others. Because you’ve all told me.
I know there are trans people yet to come out, who need those of us who came before. And more trans kids keep being born. And I refuse to let them down, or leave them in pain and confusion any longer than they have to be.
We keep going for them.
Tilly Bridges, end transmission.
Ps – Be sure to come back for part 2 next week, it’s gonna get personal!
tillysbridges@gmail.com