Welcome to #TransTuesday! This is a completely unplanned, last-minute installment because I couldn’t not talk about what just happened. Here comes THE 2024 ELECTION RESULTS: WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
First off, I want to apologize for it taking most of a week for me to get this up. My schedule is always bananas busy, but I also just didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what I could say. I didn’t know how to voice the feelings that I didn’t know how to describe.
But I’ve found myself in a position I never thought I’d be in, or intended to be in. Way back when I started Trans Tuesdays (see WHAT IS TRANS TUESDAY for more), it was because I wanted to use my privilege and the skills i have as a writer to try and help people.
And since then they’ve grown so far beyond anything I ever imagined when they were just little social media threads being read by all of two people, one of whom was my wife that I made edit them for me.
But then they led to MY BOOK, and a much bigger following, and a whole Discord community that popped up around them and became a truly amazing, friendly, wonderful, and supportive place. And I have all these eyes looking to me for some kind of answers about what happened in the 2024 election, and I didn’t have any.
I was reeling. I was grieving. I was so scared, and so wounded.
I wanted to curl up into a ball, hide under the covers, and never ever come out again.
And in the middle of that, I had people begging me to not leave social media. I had people telling me that I am somehow one of the “important trans voices” they’re worried will be silenced.
(for the record, any social media owned by a billionaire, especially Musk and Zuckerberg, are going to be incredibly friendly to the incoming administration. Their platforms have not been safe for trans people, and it’s going to get even worse. FIND ME ON BLUESKY.)
Anyway, all of that was… I don’t know how to deal with it. I never set out to be looked up to, or to be “important,” or anything like that.
I’m just some chick, y’know?
Just some chick with a lot of privilege who wanted to help people. And it’s been amazing to know that I have. I don’t mean that egotistically or anything, it’s just that you’ve told me.
Time and again, in the reviews of my book, in the emails you’ve sent me telling me how much the essays or podcast helped you, or helped people in your life understand you, or helped you understand your trans kids.
You’ve told me in my DMs as your egg cracked right in front of me and you needed someone to tell you we’ve all been through it, and that it was going to be okay. That you could do it and be that person inside that excites and terrifies and electrifies and invigorates you.
I never thought any of that would happen, or even could.
So as I sat lost in my own head, as my wife Susan repeatedly held me and hugged me and kissed me and let me work through it all, even as she was working through just as much, I realized that I had to say something, so I strapped my ass-kickin’ boots back on.
Because if the goal of Trans Tuesdays is to use what I have to do what I can to help everyone I can reach (and it absolutely is), then it’s more important than ever that they continue.
That I try to correct the ocean of misinformation, one raindrop at a time.
That I try to help trans and nonbinary people out there feel like they’re not alone.
That I remind you that we’re all more alike than not, that our differences should be celebrated and are what make us strong and beautiful.
That the darkness does not own us.
Cannot claim us.
Will not stop us.
And I wish I didn’t have to say this, but here’s the hard truth: the results of this election cannot be fixed overnight. They cannot be fixed quickly. The damage hasn’t even started yet, and it may take so much longer than any of us want for it to be undone. SCOTUS is probably fucked for the rest of my life, and that’s really hard to deal with.
But we can’t ignore the very real danger we’re facing. We have to acknowledge it.
So we can plan. So we can work to fight it.
Because I want you to remember that seventy million Americans voted to protect our rights.
And millions less people voted for Trump in 2024 than 2020.
I’m not going to get into Monday morning election quarterbacking or figuring out who to blame (but everyone who didn’t bother to vote? You’re on my eternal shit list, and whatever’s coming is just as much on you as it is everyone who voted for Trump).
The point is we are not alone. There are good people out there, who will fight for what’s right, and for every human being to be treated with dignity and respect and who will fight for all of us to one day be truly equal in the eyes of the law.
So how do we get through this?
I don’t have all the answers. I’m not the Oracle. But I can continue loving you like I do, and doing what I can. I can be as much of an Oracle as possible, even if I’m one who’s incredibly human and prone to mistakes and typos and eating too much pizza (because why would I stop when it’s so fucking good? Riddle me that, Batman).
So here are my suggestions to you. Maybe they’ll help.
Feel those feelings.
You cannot do anything else until that’s out of the way. Burying them only lets them fester and makes things worse. You gotta let ‘em out. Sob in the arms of a friend, go to a smash room and break a bunch of shit. Do whatever you gotta do to get yourself back to as close to whatever “normal” is gonna be.
It’s okay to be sad, to be mad, to be scared. Feel it. Release it.
We feel it, but we do not give in to it.
Survival is the most important thing.
Trans and nonbinary fam, please listen to me. I know you’re hurt. I know you’re full of rage. I know you’re scared, and not knowing what’s coming doesn’t help. But this is the most important thing going forward:
You must survive.
YOU MUST SURVIVE.
YOU (yes, YOU, the person reading this, I swear to fuck I’m talking to YOU) MUST do EVERYTHING YOU CAN to remain on this side of the ground.
They want us to not exist. They want to pretend we’re not real. They want to pretend we don’t matter.
And the biggest act of defiance any of us can do, the best way any of us can fight them, is to continue existing in spite of all they do.
If it’s not safe in your area, move if you can. If you can’t, and you have to go back into the closet or hide your transness to protect yourself, that’s okay. There is nothing wrong with that! It doesn’t make you less trans!
I’m not saying that wouldn’t hurt, and I’m not saying you SHOULD go into the closet. Only you can make the determination if that’s what’s safest for you until you can get somewhere safer.
But if you feel that’s what you have to do to stay safe, then it’s okay to do it. I’m telling you right now, IT IS OKAY. You are still trans, you are still loved, you are still part of the community.
If it’s not going to be safe for you to be out and proud, go stealth. Not an ideal situation, of course, but again survival is Priority One. And if that will get the job done, then do it.
And for those of us, like me, who are privileged to be in a safe home, in a state that protects us and is already vowing to fight Trump as best they can and gum up the works so he gets less done, and to continue protecting us:
It is more important than ever that we be out
that we be LOUD
that we be ULTRA ROBO MEGA BRIGHT AS THE SUN VISIBLE.
We have to show them that we won’t be cowed. Won’t give in to the despair that they want to drown us all in. To show those of us who DO have to be stealth, that DO have to go back into the closet, that we will be there for them. That we will be out because they can not be.
We will be their visibility until it’s safe for them to join us, or until we’re forced to stop.
Only you can make the determination that if it’s safe for you to be extra out, loud, and proud. And one day it might not be, because things change and we don’t know how bad it’s gonna get.
But we do not know what’s coming or how bad it will get.
Blue states are fighting back. Seventy million of us tried to stop this. We’re going to resist and fight and slow everything down as much as we can. And we need to start working NOW on trying to get the House and Senate back in 2026, so we can gum up the works even further.
Do not catastrophize.
And for all that is worth saving:
DO NOT OBEY IN ADVANCE.
Do not say “well they’re going to make HRT illegal, so I might as well stop taking it.” Do not say “well posting trans content on the internet might be made illegal, so I guess I’ll stop Trans Tuesdays.”
No.
NO.
FUCK THAT NOISE.
All that does is cede your power to them without them even trying to take it. You’re teaching them what they can do.
From On Tyranny by Timothy Snyder:
I write. It’s what I do. Because I must. And I believe art can change the world. Susan and I will keep telling trans and queer stories, keep showing that love and hope can and will win.
Art can change the world.
Trans and queer friends, don’t give up creating. The world needs your stories, your drawings, your paintings, your music, all of our art now more than ever.
Make it as trans and queer and weird as you can. Let it fly.
I was recently on a podcast discussing The Terminator (you’ll get to hear me be too vulnerable and cry about how much it means to me). It’s one of my favorite movies of all time.
And I bring this up now for a reason, because this is about the power of art.
HALLOWEEN has always been complex and difficult for me, for reasons I talked about in its Trans Tuesday. After transition it was suddenly fun and exciting, but I felt all this pressure, because in my first real costume of my entire life (not a costume on top of my bad costume of a cis man), I felt it had to be meaningful. I wanted it to be important to me.
My first Halloween as an out trans woman, I did nothing, because I was too newly out and not feeling much myself yet. The second I just tossed on some random 80s clothes (yes I already just had them, shut up, whatevs, as if) and went as an 80s chick. Fun, but not really a costume.
Last year I went in a purple dress with spiderwebs all over it. Also fun! But still not really a costume.
But this year? I figured it out a year early. My first real costume would be… Sarah Connor. And not the badass Sarah Connor from T2, but the in-over-her-head Sarah Connor from The Terminator.
Because this is where Sarah Connor becomes a badass.
Where fate stares her in the eye and she says no.
NO.
There is no fate but what we make.
And that’s such a trans affirmation of life. Fate made us trans, but we decide what to do about it. We decide, when it’s safe for us to do so, that we can change everything and live a better life.
I choose to fight. I choose to be me. I choose to not accept fate.
Me and seventy million of my best friends are gonna fight for a better world.
Trans Tuesdays will continue as long as I have something to say, and until they make me stop.
I will use my voice. And I will write.
P!NK is so super important to me (see the Trans Tuesday all about her), and she summed it up perfectly:
I will do everything I can to open people’s hearts, ears, minds.
Because I’m not going anywhere.
I’ve seen change, and I HAVE to believe that change is possible.
Because if I stop believing that?
Then it’s just a little too much for me.
So I have a pen and I write.
I write about that.
Let me leave you with my favorite line from The Terminator (which is so apt, because the movie’s about people running from, and then working together to stop, a seemingly unstoppable force).
And this line is so trans. So trans. Especially in this moment.
So here it is, from me, to all of you, my trans and nonbinary siblings. Hear it from my heart.
Thank you, Sarah, for your courage through the dark years. I can’t help you with what you must soon face, except to say that the future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves. You must be stronger than you imagine you can be. You must survive, or I will never exist.
Together. That’s how we get through this.
Find community. Hold on to them tight, we’re all gonna need each other.
If you don’t have any (and even if you do), you can JOIN MY DISCORD. It’s become such a wonderful, supportive community full of amazing trans people and our accomplices. We’d love to have you join us.
And for as long as I can, as long as I am able, I will try to be your lighthouse in the darkness.
I will keep writing about the trans experience for as long as the foundation holds.
And cis friends, it is more important than ever that you share these. Often.
YOU must help us fight this.
I love you, babes. That’s not hollow, or just words.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Yeah things are bad, but you think you can stop me, motherfuckers?
I lived a lifetime with dysphoria, don’t test me.
I will fight you forever. For me, for every other trans person, for every other marginalized community you want to hurt (INTERSECTIONALITY is the only way forward and the only way we win, babes).
I can do this all day.
Tilly Bridges, end transmission.
tillysbridges@gmail.com
ADDENDUM
I wanted to add this here as I feel it’s apt to the essay as a whole. As I’ve mentioned a few times before, every morning I post a “pre-coffee thoughts with Tilly” on social media, and I wanted to record a couple of them.
November 6, 2024, after waking up and seeing the final election results:
hope in the face of darkness is the most punk thing ever, but holy shit it’s not easy
And then November 7, 2024, my general outlook going foward:
like a mountain
breaking the plain
to reach for the sky
full of curves and altitude
resisting the gravity of it all
she stood
for all the world
to see
Defiant